So, I’m reading The Discoverie of Witchcraft by Reginald Scot, written back in the 1500s, and I came across this wild little story:
His sonne (being an ungratious boie, and prentise to one Robert Scotchford clothier, dwelling in that parish of Brenchlie) passed on a daie by hir house; at whome by chance hir little dog barked. Which thing the boie taking in evill part, drewe his knife, & pursued him therewith even to hir doore: whom she rebuked with some such words as the boie disdained, & yet neverthelesse would not be persuaded to depart in a long time. At the last he returned to his maisters house, and within five or sixe daies fell sicke. Then was called to mind the fraie betwixt the dog and the boie: insomuch as the vicar (who thought himselfe so privileged, as he little mistrusted that God would visit his children with sicknes) did so calculate; as he found, partlie through his owne judgement, and partlie (as he himselfe told me) by the relation of other witches, that his said sonne was by hir bewitched. Yea, he also told me, that this his sonne (being as it were past all cure) received perfect health at the hands of another witch.
The short version: the vicar’s son walks past a house, and the dog barks at him. The boy takes offense and chases the poor dog with a knife! The lady of the house, Margaret Simons, yells at him for it — rightly so — and they argue.
Six days later, the kid (I’m guessing a teenager because he was an apprentice, but he coulda been younger) got sick. Naturally, they blame Margaret and accuse her of witchcraft. But… get this… the vicar, one John Simmons, goes to another witch to heal his son.
According to Scot, Margaret escaped punishment because Simmons wasn’t exactly spotless himself. As he put it, the vicar was “both fondlie assotted in the cause, and enviouslie bent towards hir: and (which is worse) as unable to make a good account of his faith, as shee whom he accused.”
In other words, he was too fanatical, really disliked Margaret, and he wasn’t exactly a model of piety himself. A little later it’s reveals that John Simmons was suspected of having “French Pox” or syphilis. Not exactly coming to court with clean hands there, are you, vicar?
Scot wrote The Discoverie of Witchcraft to expose how absurd and cruel the witch trials were. He was furious that the poor, the elderly, and the mentally ill were punished, and even killed for imaginary crimes. He also had no patience for people like John Simmons, who made accusations out of spite, or for the “cozeners” and tricksters who pretended to be witches or conjurers and helped fuel the hysteria in the first place. I haven’t gotten very far into it yet — as you can see, the language is a bit… dense — but even in the opening letters, he argues his case with zeal.
It all feels weirdly familiar. The more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess. History. Repeat. Blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, that’s what’s on my mind today. Thanks for reading. Take care of yourself, and I’ll chat at you later.
